WHEN SHIT BECOMES FOOD
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When shit becomes food,
I know it sounds rude,
but it's almost time dude
so, don't be a prude
from your own natural crude
You'll BE in the mood
when shit becomes food.

When shit becomes food..
are you ready to meet it?
You'll excrete it
You'll eat it
You'll whip, churn, & beat it.
You'll adore it 
You'll store it
You'll want to get more, it
will be come your favorite
dish in the store.
You'll try it
You'll buy it
You'll bake, boil, & fry it
There'll be all sorts of candy
and colors to dye it,
When shit becomes food.

When shit becomes food
you won't have to go far
You could either stay home
or out to the shit bar
for a quick shit sandwich
or a side of shit chips
or maybe those little shit nuggets
with sauces for dips.
In diarrhea you'll soup
in constipation you'll starve
always thinking of poop
while that shit roast you carve,
to give to the family 
for a holiday feast
you say, "this shit's imported
from somewhere back east!"
Your new dagwood sandwich
with assorted sliced shit
and the new midnight snack
of shit wafers and spit.
You'll eat shit for dinner
Shit for breakfast and lunch, 
Shit with coffee, shit with brandy
French toasted shit waffles for brunch...

'Cause when the shit hits the menus
it will all be too late
There will be no escaping 
The shit on your plate
You just wait
and you'll see
there will be shit for you
and there will be shit for me.
there will be more shit
that you thought there would be
There'll be fancy shit restaurants
and shit burger stands too
and it's all coming down
When shit becomes food.

        - LOB
          12-22-1987